𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐀 𝐈𝐍𝐁𝐎𝐗.

[torsion]

JILL VALENTINE ❝ username: j.valentine ❝ lives with leon & carlos (level two). ❝ works at riposte investigations. ❝ hand-to-hand and weapons trainer. ❝ weapon modder/ammo creator. ❝ prisma info/permissions + regains. » text, audio, video, voicemail, deliveries, action, and overflows.

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text, un: nevercrywolf

[starmark]

hey are you busy

this is jotaro

[torsion]

Hey, Jotaro.
I'm not.

What's up?

[starmark]

hi

i dunno
i just wanted to make sure you were ok i guess
after all the bullshit that's been happening lately

i mean
i know you can take care of yourself
i'm not saying i thought i had to be worried or anything
i was just y'know
wondering

[torsion]

Hey.

Thanks.
If I'm being honest with you, I don't usually get people checking up on me. It means a lot. :)

I know. Shit doesn't just get worrisome in a fight, there's always something more to it.

I'm alright. Leon's gone, but he had the decency to leave me his guns.
Someone I know showed up. She's from eleven years ago, though. We used to work together, so she's definitely a plus. Haven't heard anything from Wesker, but I don't think he's left.

How are you doing?

[starmark]

well
avdol's married now
so that's good because he deserves to be happy

a guy punched me into some turnips a while back
i mean i hit him too
it's not like he just suckerpunched me into a pile of vegetables

also i'm courting a guy officially i guess
so that's
anyway

didn't end up getting mind-controlled by that fucking lion guy
that's good too

[torsion]

[ It was a good wedding I have to get my ass on soon, whoops. That being said, he may have noticed her attending with some dude as her plus one. ]

I'm glad for the both of them. They deserve some happiness.

You're gonna have to elaborate on this because I feel like I'm hallucinating those sentences.

Yeah? Good for you. I hope it pans out the way you want, whatever it might be.
I still only am doing the whole Chroma through fighting thing.

Me, either. Had enough of that the past few years. It's not something you can just pull back from.

And you can talk to me about whatever you want, you know.
No pretense required. Although there's always a lot to catch up on with how things never stop happening here.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you don't have to be embarrassed about saying anything.
Though from my perspective, I also understand just wanting to move on from things. I don't like addressing the shit longer than I have to. I want to keep going. I'd rather try to be happy. If that makes sense?

[starmark]

what is there to elaborate on
i was in the grocery store and i got in a fight with a guy
in the produce section

anyway
i dunno

i guess i'm just thinking about like
this is really it huh
i have a job and a house and someone i like a lot
it barely even feels weird to be in outer space anymore
or to turn into a wolf twice a month

[torsion]

How was I supposed to know you meant that?

Is that a bad thing?
I have a lot to get back to, but I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying what you have in the meantime.
Are you happy with how things are?

[starmark]

...
what else does "got suckerpunched into a pile of vegetables" mean to you??

i don't know
i mean, i do know
of course i'm happy i'm happy all the time
and i feel good
hell sometimes i even feel great

and it's just weird

[torsion]

If you really want to know I thought someone punched you and you turned into vegetables.
Happy?

I don't mean to step out of line, but does that worry you or make you feel guilty? Is that the problem?

1/2

[starmark]

does

does that usually happen when people get punched where you're from

[starmark]

anyway i guess so yeah
it wasn't so long ago that i was really fucked up

it doesn't seem right that i could be this happy when i used to be that fucked up

[torsion]

I hate that you just asked me that and I refuse to answer.

I mean, people change. Sometimes the transition might take longer, but it doesn't mean you don't deserve it.

I spent a long time as a prisoner. I forgot what simple comforts were like. I might just go home and not make it out alive and it's been difficult to adjust, but I don't want to be miserable.
Sometimes it feels overpowering.
But I'm trying to accept that it's alright. That I'm not a bad person. And I deserve the break I've been given here.

I'm sure it doesn't help, not knowing if you might leave. But you're a good person, Jotaro. Try to let yourself enjoy it. Give yourself room to breathe and think, take a long walk if you need to. Keep training with me, get rid of that pent-up tension.
Might take a while but I think you'll be alright.

Anyway, sorry for saying so much -- and assuming. I've got your back, so you don't have to figure it out alone.

[starmark]

i don't know if it's really a break is the thing

i mean i don't think any of it really went away
because it's still there
something bad happens and it comes back
so it's not really gone

i think maybe i'm just
pretending not to notice it
or something

[torsion]

You still feel it, then?
That's fair.
I still sometimes feel the things I don't want to or remember them.
Sometimes the shadows make shapes.

It can still be a break from constant reminders, though. Things are still where you left them at home and it's stressful.
I have a world to save, if I'm lucky. Could go the other way.

Trying can help, but I think it's just as unhealthy to forget it. A lot of people try to convince me to just "move on," but it's not as easy as just saying that.
Is there anything specific I can do? I want to say talking can help but it never seems to do much for me.
Maybe you just have to wait it out to see how it has or hasn't worked.

[starmark]

earlier this month
you know, when all that weird time stuff was happening
i got hurt
i was out for a drive and the world slowed down
i wish i could say i thought something but the truth is i don't remember thinking at all
i didn't think i just

i don't know
the next thing i knew i'd skidded out
messed up my leg with road rash

i went to the clinic to get patched up and they asked me how it happened
and all of a sudden i just felt
it's like everything got really tight
tight and stuck inside me and it hurt
so i lied and just told them i took a turn too fast
and they just accepted that i guess

i haven't felt like that in a long time
alucard had to carry me home
well ok i guess i kind of let him and it felt good but
if that happened once it could happen again

[torsion]

I mean, it's up to you how you want to tell anyone and who.
You can't force yourself into adapting or recovery.
You have to be ready for it.

I'm really glad you're alright, though.
If you're still feeling a little messed up and don't want to go back, I've been growing some Green Herbs. I can give you some and teach you how to use them for speedy healing.

But I understand.
You don't want to be in a position where others have to help you, even if they want to.
The only advice I have is to face what's happening and whatever you want to forget.
Not easy, but I know you can do it.
Maybe try writing it down? You can throw it away or set it on fire when you're done.

[starmark]

green herbs

you mean like drugs??

[torsion]

No!
What about me says I'd do drugs?
And what drugs heal like that?
They're from the Arklay Mountains, originally. They've been used for healing properties for years. They're an ingredient in First Aid Sprays, but we've adapted them to be used almost any way you can take them.

And don't change the subject.

[starmark]

you said GREEN HERB
that's the first green herb i thought of
also i guess the only green herb i thought of

what other herbs are there that are green
parsley i guess ??
maybe

anyway it's pretty healed by now
but i could try the herb i guess

and i'm not sure how to face this problem when the problem isn't here
or even alive for that matter

[torsion]

That's just what it's called. The official name is Arklay Green Herb, I believe, but I didn't think that mattered.
Red and Blue are the same way. To my knowledge it was named that simply because of location by the local tribes that once occupied the area.

I can let you have some.

But you know what I mean.
You're like me. Face it head on. And chokehold it if you can?
But you have to sit down and think about your feelings. Like I said, face the worst of it. Write it down if you have to.

Do you want to come over to the house and talk about it with me?
More privacy than in public. And I can pour you a drink -- just don't let people think I've got a habit of serving minors.

[starmark]

i don't know if talking about it is going to work
and i'm probably not supposed to be having beers anymore

but i want one

so ok
i'll come over

[torsion]

I don't know either. Could take a lot of talking, but you only have to get out as much as you want.
And if you say it like that I'm gonna have to ask.
I hope you haven't developed a drinking problem?

We can always order out and get some decent food instead.

I'll be waiting and I'll send you the new address. I'm probably not sticking around here, though. Too big for one, but kinda nice for now. :)

[starmark]

no it's more like
someone else will have a problem with me drinking
if they figure out i've been doing it
which they will

i want the beer though
i already gave up smoking mostly
i'm trying

[torsion]

Did you make a promise to them, though?