torsion | 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐀 𝐈𝐍𝐁𝐎𝐗.

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𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐀 𝐈𝐍𝐁𝐎𝐗.

JILL VALENTINE

❝ username: j.valentine
❝ lives with leon & carlos (level two).
❝ works at riposte investigations.
❝ hand-to-hand and weapons trainer.
❝ weapon modder/ammo creator.

❝ prisma info/permissions + regains.

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I hate that you just asked me that and I refuse to answer.

I mean, people change. Sometimes the transition might take longer, but it doesn't mean you don't deserve it.

I spent a long time as a prisoner. I forgot what simple comforts were like. I might just go home and not make it out alive and it's been difficult to adjust, but I don't want to be miserable.
Sometimes it feels overpowering.
But I'm trying to accept that it's alright. That I'm not a bad person. And I deserve the break I've been given here.

I'm sure it doesn't help, not knowing if you might leave. But you're a good person, Jotaro. Try to let yourself enjoy it. Give yourself room to breathe and think, take a long walk if you need to. Keep training with me, get rid of that pent-up tension.
Might take a while but I think you'll be alright.

Anyway, sorry for saying so much -- and assuming. I've got your back, so you don't have to figure it out alone.

i don't know if it's really a break is the thing

i mean i don't think any of it really went away
because it's still there
something bad happens and it comes back
so it's not really gone

i think maybe i'm just
pretending not to notice it
or something

Edited 2020-03-28 15:37 (UTC)

You still feel it, then?
That's fair.
I still sometimes feel the things I don't want to or remember them.
Sometimes the shadows make shapes.

It can still be a break from constant reminders, though. Things are still where you left them at home and it's stressful.
I have a world to save, if I'm lucky. Could go the other way.

Trying can help, but I think it's just as unhealthy to forget it. A lot of people try to convince me to just "move on," but it's not as easy as just saying that.
Is there anything specific I can do? I want to say talking can help but it never seems to do much for me.
Maybe you just have to wait it out to see how it has or hasn't worked.

earlier this month
you know, when all that weird time stuff was happening
i got hurt
i was out for a drive and the world slowed down
i wish i could say i thought something but the truth is i don't remember thinking at all
i didn't think i just

i don't know
the next thing i knew i'd skidded out
messed up my leg with road rash

i went to the clinic to get patched up and they asked me how it happened
and all of a sudden i just felt
it's like everything got really tight
tight and stuck inside me and it hurt
so i lied and just told them i took a turn too fast
and they just accepted that i guess

i haven't felt like that in a long time
alucard had to carry me home
well ok i guess i kind of let him and it felt good but
if that happened once it could happen again

I mean, it's up to you how you want to tell anyone and who.
You can't force yourself into adapting or recovery.
You have to be ready for it.

I'm really glad you're alright, though.
If you're still feeling a little messed up and don't want to go back, I've been growing some Green Herbs. I can give you some and teach you how to use them for speedy healing.

But I understand.
You don't want to be in a position where others have to help you, even if they want to.
The only advice I have is to face what's happening and whatever you want to forget.
Not easy, but I know you can do it.
Maybe try writing it down? You can throw it away or set it on fire when you're done.

green herbs

you mean like drugs??

No!
What about me says I'd do drugs?
And what drugs heal like that?
They're from the Arklay Mountains, originally. They've been used for healing properties for years. They're an ingredient in First Aid Sprays, but we've adapted them to be used almost any way you can take them.

And don't change the subject.

you said GREEN HERB
that's the first green herb i thought of
also i guess the only green herb i thought of

what other herbs are there that are green
parsley i guess ??
maybe

anyway it's pretty healed by now
but i could try the herb i guess

and i'm not sure how to face this problem when the problem isn't here
or even alive for that matter

That's just what it's called. The official name is Arklay Green Herb, I believe, but I didn't think that mattered.
Red and Blue are the same way. To my knowledge it was named that simply because of location by the local tribes that once occupied the area.

I can let you have some.

But you know what I mean.
You're like me. Face it head on. And chokehold it if you can?
But you have to sit down and think about your feelings. Like I said, face the worst of it. Write it down if you have to.

Do you want to come over to the house and talk about it with me?
More privacy than in public. And I can pour you a drink -- just don't let people think I've got a habit of serving minors.

i don't know if talking about it is going to work
and i'm probably not supposed to be having beers anymore

but i want one

so ok
i'll come over

I don't know either. Could take a lot of talking, but you only have to get out as much as you want.
And if you say it like that I'm gonna have to ask.
I hope you haven't developed a drinking problem?

We can always order out and get some decent food instead.

I'll be waiting and I'll send you the new address. I'm probably not sticking around here, though. Too big for one, but kinda nice for now. :)

no it's more like
someone else will have a problem with me drinking
if they figure out i've been doing it
which they will

i want the beer though
i already gave up smoking mostly
i'm trying