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โ username: j.valentine โ lives with leon & carlos (level two). โ works at riposte investigations. โ hand-to-hand and weapons trainer. โ weapon modder/ammo creator. โ prisma info/permissions + regains. |
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Heh, fine, fine. Whatever you say. [ Defeated rather than upbeat or sing-song, Jill folds her arms over her chest. ] Though I'm curious what the tell's use would be. Especially since it's only incidental, but...
[ She is already leaning to get a photo before he finishes but comes back on screen with straight visibility and a sigh. ]
Ah... About six feet tall, two-fifty pounds. [ But she pauses here. There is definitely a tell here; the faintest personal smile. Head tilting minutely to the side. ] That's not what you want, huh. Um, he looks like a meathead. It's not what he is even if he's strong, broad shoulders. His hair's gotten lighter since we first met, back in our early twenties. His eyes seem blue, but they're hazel. [ Her hands move slightly now, like it's something that really needs to be explained. ] His skin's a little darker than yours and, heh, he can't grow a beard or anything. Just five o'clock and that's that.
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[Everyone is shorter than him but that's not the point. The point is, he's watching Jill's face with the intensity of a field biologist studying a species and its behavior in the wild, and no, he's definitely not missing the signs as they flicker past.]
Okay. How did you meet him? What were you doing.
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[ She doesn't need to be able to read his mind to know that. He's a solid foot taller than her so it can be a little odd for her, but she doesn't mind it. Still, Jill carries on. ]
Well, we had a mutual friend named Forest. [ Something darker crosses her eyes; a brief hint, dissipating as quickly as it came. ] It was quick, don't really remember much about it. But we all ended up working together in STARS. Forest and I were with the Army; he was Air Force before STARS. Forest sort of became the third wheel really fast.
[ She laughs, almost shyly at that admission with her head ducking. ]
You know when you just know someone's right? He became my best friend before I even knew it.
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["Was" like that. Not "is" like that. It's a subtle yet significant difference, but it's also not one he dwells on. He's still too busy gauging, wanting to keep Jill talking.]
Air Force, huh. He flew planes? Like in a war?
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He can, yeah, but it wasn't in a war. He's still certified and can fly a chopper pretty damn well. We're more boots on the ground as special operations agents with the BSAA. He's a heavy-hitter compared to me. Arms are nearly three times the size of mine. Doesn't skip leg day though -- probably because he knows I'd kick his ass if he did.
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[He tips his head a little to the side, watching her. After a moment, absently, he extends a hand and, in a flash, the purple blur behind him comes into view for the briefest of instants. In the next blink, he's holding a soda where his hand had been empty before.]
So is he the kind of best friend who knows everything about you?
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[ Jill just goes silent watching him like she's having a fever dream. After a moment she shifts forward in her spot and finally asks: ]
So uh, what was that?
[ But he seems to have his eyes on the prize, which she can appreciate. She doesn't like to be deterred, either. ]
Well, I only have a few friends and he's the one I see most regularly. For three years we were with each other almost every day and night when we were mercenaries. We sort of share our friendship circle, but I'd like to think he'd say I'm also his best friend and that we know everything about each other, yeah.
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[He's not even thinking about it as he pops the tab on the soda and takes a drink, except that then it hits him and he has to catch himself before he chokes on the swig he'd just taken.]
Hang on. You can see him?
[A second face presses gently into the camera frame, this one considerably more purple than Jotaro's.]
You see something...uh, purple, I guess?
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The weirdo.
Jill raises her hand and flexes her fingers. ]
Jotaro do you... think I'm blind? I mean you think you can casually have someone hanging around in the background doin' stuff and I'm just going to keep ignoring it? C'mon.
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[Almost absentmindedly, he reaches up with the hand that isn't holding his soda and buries it in the purple gremlin's hair, ruffling it the way that one might do for a particularly playful dog.]
You keep talking about your unit, STARS. I'm kinda surprised he isn't more confused...because that's his name. Star.
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[ She watches with curiosity, trying to understand what this is since the guy apparently isn't human. Or, maybe it's just a big kid? After all, Jill would do the same thing to Jotaro if he wasn't wearing that dang hat. ]
Oh. It's an acronym -- Special Tactics and Rescue Service -- but ah, hey.
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[Another hair-ruffle or two, and he withdraws his hand, leaving the purple figure to slowly settle back into awareness of its surroundings, peering at Jill through big blue eyes with dilated pupils.]
It's after the tarot card, The Star. He's...it's kind of complicated. But he's mine.
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[ But it's a fond smart ass. It lights up her eyes, not unlike when she talks about Chris. Hm. ]
I see. Mohammed reads tarot, doesn't he? Don't gotta talk about it, either way. Be like me talking about the Mansion Incident. No quick way around it?
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[He's getting pretty used to names like that. Smartass, bastard man. They fit him well.]
He's the one who named Star, yeah. Had me pick one of his cards and that's the one that came up. It fits, though, so I guess he was right.
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[ Horrible bastard man. Still, Jill cracks a smile on screen, lips twitching in a corner, threatening to spill over into a chuckle. ]
I see. Did you just sort of... pull a card to see what represented you, then? I don't know much about it so I can't tell if it's like you or not... I guess I'm just sort of not comfortable with magic and all that, which I've mentioned to Mohammed. He's got a soothing nature about him, though. Might change my mind with how he talks about it.
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[HE IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING WITH HER, 100%.]
...But yeah. He said take one, and that'll be its name. His name. I looked it up later, and the Star means things like...hope. I guess the cards are kind of like a story? If you lay them all out, the meanings tell a story, or...something.
[Avdol is so much better at this, but he's trying, at least.]
Anyway. The big thing about the Star is that it comes right after the Tower, which I guess is like...a big upset. A cataclysm. Everything getting shaken up. And the idea is, after that happens you look up at the sky and see a star, and that's hope. I think that's what he meant. What kind of Star he is. When everything goes to shit, Star's still there for me.
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[ SHE CAN TELL, but she's going to let him have this victory. He deserves it. ]
Hm. That's... well, that's nice. You sure it's just meant to be the Star is there for you and not that you can be that for someone? Kind of an honor, I'd think.
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[Except that, as he goes quiet and descends deep into thought as he looks away in typical tsundere fashion, something happens to his expression — after a moment, a slight touch of warmth similar to Jill's own from before colors his features. A faint, personal smile, one that he doesn't even really realize is at the corners of his mouth.
Simply put: he's got a tell.]
There are better people to look at for something like that.
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[ But there's a but. She can tell there's more to him and his experiences than what she's been made aware of. Jill considers drawing attention to this, maybe even laughing a little, but she'll cut him some slack.
He's cute, after all. ]
"Better" is always subjective. Sometimes there's only one person that can make it right for you. It's never as simple as you want it to be, Jotaro.
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[It's an interesting turn of phrase Jill chooses, and one that snatches his attention and won't let it go again: someone's holy grail. That was what the crusades were always about, wasn't it? People chasing after something, an ideal, spurred on by their need to reach it.
Cairo was their holy grail, to all outward appearances. But even before his mom got sick, Jiji's crusade was still there. For him it was always about Dio Brando, and the body of Jonathan Joestar. Polnareff's crusade was about his sister's killer.
What was Kakyoin's holy grail? Did he even have one? Had he really only done everything he did for the sake of following along on someone else's crusade? Or...had there been something, all along, and he just hadn't realized it...?]
He wasn't...an extension of me. But we could fight like it, sometimes. I knew what he would do. He knew what I would do. It made us good. Better together than if we were alone.
[He faced Dio alone. He forced him into a corner the way that only Kakyoin and his Hierophant could have...]
I wasn't there when he died. Sometimes I think if I had been, I could've done something. Sometimes I'm not so sure.
...I know that I was the one he was thinking of, when he died. I think I was his Star, right then. I don't think I deserve it, but I think that's what he thought.
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...I'm, I'm not trying to put you on the spot or anything, but before I can answer you or make any comments, I need to know. Is there a specific reason that you're talking to me about this?
[ There's a hint to her voice. Not a warning, but clear that it holds her heavily, that it means something to her. Like he's asking her a personal question even if it's just about himself. It's something she knows. ]
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But Jill...Jill deserves a real answer, he knows. She's easier than most to open up to. And he hasn't forgotten the way she looked in the grocery store, that flash of something distant and melancholy that he'd understood all too well.]
You're okay to talk to.
[He's not looking at her, but this time it looks more like he's hanging his head than avoiding her gaze. He's mumbling, too, but not to the point of being incoherent.]
And I think you get it. That...kind of thing. People who haven't...had their whole world change, because of something that happened, they don't get it. Not really. But I think you do. Because something bad happened to you, and it changed everything for you, too.
...Right?
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...that wasn't what I meant, but you're not wrong. I thought... maybe you knew something else about me. Your friend and I, we have a lot in common.
[ She lets it drag off, looks away but it's nearly imperceptibly to the side. But knowing him, he's noticed. He's not focusing on anything else the same way she isn't. That it's the two of them. She lightly clears her throat into a sound, an ah that drags off like she's lost for words. Is lost for words. ]
...your friend and myself, it sounds like we both made a choice for someone else. Which isn't fair to the people we love, but we did it for a reason. Even if ultimately it meant the worst for us. [ It's clear what she means to say, but she struggles to let it come out. She doesn't want to talk about it, but Jotaro is putting faith in her. And though she's told Leone, she thinks Jotaro deserves it and won't put weight on her. He'll understand in his own way. ] About four years ago, I was on a mission. It didn't go the way we planned. My partner was thrown around like a toy. I saw an out, a way to ensure his safety and make sure he could fight on, so... that's why I thought.
[ That you knew. ]
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[Which means it wasn't four years at some indeterminate point in her history, four years with space in-between to let it fade into the past. That means four years ago something bad happened to Jill and she's been paying for it ever since, except that now she's here instead of there.
Fifty days is a lot different than four years. But the suddenness of it...yeah. Yeah, he gets that.]
I thought what happened to you was like what happened to me, but — maybe you're right, that what you went through is closer to what he did. Maybe I'm the one who knows how Chris feels. And you're the one who knows how Kakyoin felt.
[He rubs a hand over his face, mostly to hide his expression, disliking how raw and how vulnerable he feels, voicing this.]
I wish I could tell him I'm sorry. I don't know if he'd even want to hear that. Would you...?
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[ To wake up. To exist and be alive. But it's something there so he knows the connection now. Who, how, and why. He deserved to know when he's offering her this and he understands it intimately. Time didn't matter. You couldn't compare suffering. ]
It could be, maybe. But I think you understand and what... what you've felt is valid, of course. But I think you can also understand that the sort of things we did for the people we care about, we wouldn't do it if we didn't want you to carry on. Because you matter. I can't say I understand him fully because we're different, we're not the same people... but if he did it. He did it because he wanted to, not just needed to.
[ Jill understands it. She tries to hide with a cant of her head, with a bit of her fringe disguising her eyes. It's always in her eyes, regardless of how her mouth is set or voice may waver. ]
I think he... like me, we'd understand. Why. That it's reciprocated, that if you had the opportunity you'd have done what we did, right? It's not so easy as just letting it go for either side. I was saved when it came down to it. My partner found me, he set down his weapons and let me break his bones. He never gave up on me. [ It's sweeter despite the hurt. ] Not the same. But I think you already know the answer it's just... it's different hearing it. You deserve that.
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